Pink Shirt Day!

Today is pink shirt day — a day to take a stand against bullying by proudly wearing your best pink shirt (not such a big deal for us ladies, but a bit more significant for most guys, I reckon). I was a spaz and forgot about this while getting dressed this morning (I did coincidentally wear pink shoes though — do you think that counts?). To atone for my neglect, I feel the need to write this post.

Several times a year — or so it seems — we hear stories in the news about kids who have tried (and too often succeeded) taking their own lives because they were bullied so brutally. And of course, with the rise of cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, and online communities, bullies are able to reach into the lives of their victims well after they have left the schoolyard.

I am lucky in that when I was a kid I was never really bullied to any extent. There were of course the regular fights that friends get in, but I was never targeted and bullied the way far too many kids are. I managed to sail under the radar! I can’t imagine how difficult it is for kids and teens who are picked on (equally, I can’t imagine the pain you would feel if it was your child who was being targeted).

There have always been bullies and I expect that there always will be. It seems to me, though, that the stakes have risen. I don’t particularly know why that is, and I don’t know where it becomes necessary to take action. Is it a regular rite of passage for kids to get picked on by their peers?

Part of me wants to say, well, probably. As they go through school, kids are figuring things out. Figuring themselves out. Part of that is establishing who they are in relation to their peers. Where do they fit in? Does that mean that others must not?

On the other hand — that feels like a cop out. It can’t be ok to just say that “kids will be kids” and hope that they will all come through without ugly scars. Clearly that is not the case.

I don’t have kids. I’m not a teacher. This makes me feel like I don’t really have the right to offer my opinion on how to help your kids — whether they are the bullied or the ones doing the bullying. But whatever. I’m going to anyways 🙂 Are you ready…?

Today, on pink shirt day, give them a hug. Yup, that’s it. My guess is they won’t particularly want to hug you back (especially if they are old enough to know how terribly uncool this is). Too bad. Hug them anyways. Hard. Then tell them that they rock the free world. That they are beautiful, and smart, and kind. And funny as hell. (Because really, what kid doesn’t make you laugh out loud at least once a day?)

They may protest, and say that you HAVE to say that — you’re their mom (or dad, or sister, or uncle, or third cousin twice removed). Fair enough. Then tell them that there is this chick, Laura, and she thinks those things too. She thinks them like crazy. If they still protest, you could even tell them to call me and I’ll tell them myself. In fact, do that. It would make my freakin’ day.

So there it is. Hug your kid. Bully or bullied. Tell them how awesome they are, and that everyone knows it. It’s not going to fix everything. There will still be bullies and there will still be the bullied. But maybe it will be a nudge towards lowering those stakes back down to manageable levels again.

Also, if you want to learn more about pink shirt day, go here. You can read all about the kick ass kid from the Maritimes who started the whole movement himself. Chum chum

What do you think? Were you bullied as a kid (or perhaps were you the one doing the bullying?) Am I totally off-base with the whole hug thing? Go ahead — tell me!